During the course of my internship, I finally sat my butt down and started doing some serious work, and some observations I made will shape my thinking/decisions for a long time.
Firstly, I realized change is unavoidable and is the inherent nature of things (atleast things I work on).
Next I came to believe my associations with objects (and of other people i presume) are of two types, I will call them logical associations and emotional associations. Logical associations are of the buy-sell variety, ex. I buy shares of a company just to make a quick buck later. Emotional assocations are when an object ceases to become an object and adapts a personality or when you associate it with a human emotion, ex. You buy shares in a company you helped build for 10 years, then the association with the same shares is that of years of hardwork which went into the company. In this case you would not be so willing to sell them for a small profit.
Now, emotional associations can be dangerous as they can bring out extreme reations in people. While logical associations will always elicit the same question, is this a gain or a loss to me, or will this lead to the goal it was designed for? For example, imagine staying in a home all your life, associating various key moments of your existence with it, assuming its existence as a security blanket, only to have to sell it, this would elicit sadness, a sense of extreme loss and irrational quotes to the buyers (which would inevitably lead to no sale, or a very disapointing sale). Now picture a land shark, he buys/sells 5 to 6 lots daily, do you think these reactions are elicited in those transactions, no, because all that is thought of is, is this transaction profitable?
Therefore, I have to come to conclude we need to detach emotional associations during transactions, because this will lead to overall rationality.
Coming to the nature of change, I was working on two parallel projects, one which aligned to my interests, and evoked a sense of discovery and learning within me, and one which simply had to achieve a goal and the means did not excite me. This situation lead me to work with great zeal on the former, and also lead to the formation of uncalled for emotional associations, I associated it with the joys of learning something new in this case. The latter project evoked no such reactions, and was just that to me, a project, nothing more nothing less. This project was poised for change from the very beginning, and the requirements seemed to change everyday and I had no problem scrapping stuff, as it was all for the achievement for a goal, the means itself had no intrinsic value.
However I was resistant to change on the first project from the very start, I would huff and puff, and attempt to build a house of cards on what was done, but not remove it. Towards the end, the first project greatly suffered due to my unwillingness to scrap. The second project on the other hand faced no such blocks, and will achieve its goal. Thus, clearly stating to oneself that the end is imporatant and not the means (in this case), and under any circumstances not developing emotional associations, will automatically poise anything to be flexible to paradigm shifting change and lead to overall ascent of human thought.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
The meaning of life
Have you ever stopped and asked yourself "why am I doing this?", "whats the end result?". I am assuming almost all of us have at some point asked these questions. Lately I realized practically no one knows the answer and they have trained themselves to ignore the question entirely, or rather fear it.
Because such a question, if answered properly, can give a complete purpose for one's entire life, and if answered incorrectly, can lead to endless despair, finally culminating with the thought "There is no intrinsic meaning to life".
For a few years now I have attempted to debate on this topic with various people, my parents, grandparents, cousins and friends with a philosophical bent, what I observed was very disturbing.
Most people tend to skirt the question by answering something about "spiritual being" "god" "prayer", and just let it go. Few people fear the question so much they will not be willing to go near it. And some people have just and never want to think about it.
I however believe that a question of such seminal importance should be pondered over endlessly until an answer is that is satisfactory to oneself is found.
And after my months of pondering, I have answered this question at least to my satisfaction.
Here is what I think (and this answer may very well repulse you, or may not feel right, but it fits in with my logical reasoning well). I believe at a fundamental level the role of an individual in a species is simply to pass on genes and ensure survival of the species, nothing more nothing less. Our only task is ensuring humans as a species survive and genetic evolution continues. Everything else is just blither.
And lately this survival has moved on from the basic needs of food, game and shelter to a more advanced one i.e. the relentless pursuit of knowledge. Essentially all we have as a species is millenia of accumulated knowledge. From basic stuff like how to cook, to how to build a cruise missile.
So essentially, today, the intrinsic meaning of life or reason for living is simply to further the frontiers of out knowledge base, therefore we must ensure that each one of us is on a constant quest to better our species through this relentless pursuit.
Because such a question, if answered properly, can give a complete purpose for one's entire life, and if answered incorrectly, can lead to endless despair, finally culminating with the thought "There is no intrinsic meaning to life".
For a few years now I have attempted to debate on this topic with various people, my parents, grandparents, cousins and friends with a philosophical bent, what I observed was very disturbing.
Most people tend to skirt the question by answering something about "spiritual being" "god" "prayer", and just let it go. Few people fear the question so much they will not be willing to go near it. And some people have just and never want to think about it.
I however believe that a question of such seminal importance should be pondered over endlessly until an answer is that is satisfactory to oneself is found.
And after my months of pondering, I have answered this question at least to my satisfaction.
Here is what I think (and this answer may very well repulse you, or may not feel right, but it fits in with my logical reasoning well). I believe at a fundamental level the role of an individual in a species is simply to pass on genes and ensure survival of the species, nothing more nothing less. Our only task is ensuring humans as a species survive and genetic evolution continues. Everything else is just blither.
And lately this survival has moved on from the basic needs of food, game and shelter to a more advanced one i.e. the relentless pursuit of knowledge. Essentially all we have as a species is millenia of accumulated knowledge. From basic stuff like how to cook, to how to build a cruise missile.
So essentially, today, the intrinsic meaning of life or reason for living is simply to further the frontiers of out knowledge base, therefore we must ensure that each one of us is on a constant quest to better our species through this relentless pursuit.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Why purely private education is Bad and Never will Work
I know the current low down in India is privatization is good, mandated by god, good for the economy, look at america etc etc. And that government institutions tend to bring about mental images of creaking fans, files stacked up to the roof and depressed corrupt people.
However here is my point, a for-profit organization may have strange incentives when comes to providing a service like education. For example: A private university might actually BENEFIT by deliberately failing students in large numbers, its a good source of income, re-evaluation, re-exam and maybe a repeated sem, its all profitable. I am not saying that this is what happens, I am just saying since the sole pupose of the body is profit, in dire times the motivation to move towards general good will be rare.
Plus, an education isnt like getting a cup of coffee, its a life altering experience that shapes human lives. Packaging and marketing are not terms which should come to mind. In the future may be private institutes will start referring to good students as "dead beats" (taking a cue from credit card companies), as they are not profitable. Also the above mentioned motivations, even when non existant tend to plant seeds in the minds of "customers" of the insti. This leads to overall dissent.
Further, the lecturers become wage slaves and the management pressures get to them, u may say that in Government institutes lecturers barely come to class, because of no fear of reprimand, however I say thats what leads to great research. Scientific research is done with profit on the backburner, and a desire to expand horizons is what inspires most scientists. However when you become a worker at an assembly plant churning out engineers you lose sight of why you are there in the first place.
Infact according to me Free market and Democracy were always and will always be incompatible. I mean think about it, ow matter how democratic India is, when "workers" in colleges go to to teach, they are automatons who do stuff at the beck and call of the management, there goes democracy down the drain, this will be true for almost every free market enterprise.
Doesn't that sound a bit like communist china?
In another instance, most private institutes have the policy that all UG and PG work done as coursework, legally BELONGS to the institute, so there goes open source, and you yourself are unable to lay claim to your work later, it just belongs to them. Will any one in their right mind really innovate?
In comparison government institutions may be uninspiring and will sustain roten apples as a part of the tree, and may embody corruption, however there is inherent freedom. U know that u are not beholden to any management, this in itself should lead to the germination of few free-spirited ideas.
I therefore consider such an answerable-to-no-one-not-even-the-community model of education a Mc-Donalds fast food joint, food for the masses, not the connoisseur.
However here is my point, a for-profit organization may have strange incentives when comes to providing a service like education. For example: A private university might actually BENEFIT by deliberately failing students in large numbers, its a good source of income, re-evaluation, re-exam and maybe a repeated sem, its all profitable. I am not saying that this is what happens, I am just saying since the sole pupose of the body is profit, in dire times the motivation to move towards general good will be rare.
Plus, an education isnt like getting a cup of coffee, its a life altering experience that shapes human lives. Packaging and marketing are not terms which should come to mind. In the future may be private institutes will start referring to good students as "dead beats" (taking a cue from credit card companies), as they are not profitable. Also the above mentioned motivations, even when non existant tend to plant seeds in the minds of "customers" of the insti. This leads to overall dissent.
Further, the lecturers become wage slaves and the management pressures get to them, u may say that in Government institutes lecturers barely come to class, because of no fear of reprimand, however I say thats what leads to great research. Scientific research is done with profit on the backburner, and a desire to expand horizons is what inspires most scientists. However when you become a worker at an assembly plant churning out engineers you lose sight of why you are there in the first place.
Infact according to me Free market and Democracy were always and will always be incompatible. I mean think about it, ow matter how democratic India is, when "workers" in colleges go to to teach, they are automatons who do stuff at the beck and call of the management, there goes democracy down the drain, this will be true for almost every free market enterprise.
Doesn't that sound a bit like communist china?
In another instance, most private institutes have the policy that all UG and PG work done as coursework, legally BELONGS to the institute, so there goes open source, and you yourself are unable to lay claim to your work later, it just belongs to them. Will any one in their right mind really innovate?
In comparison government institutions may be uninspiring and will sustain roten apples as a part of the tree, and may embody corruption, however there is inherent freedom. U know that u are not beholden to any management, this in itself should lead to the germination of few free-spirited ideas.
I therefore consider such an answerable-to-no-one-not-even-the-community model of education a Mc-Donalds fast food joint, food for the masses, not the connoisseur.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
An Ode dedicated to an Era: The beginning of the End
"Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing spirit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?" - Mark Renton
These words have been reverberating in my mind since 15 days. Because now we are all doing things like that.
I fondly remember the passion I once used to possess when in front of my desktop, alas no more, now I am painfully reminded of all the effort I put into sculpting statements into beauty(Code), and then be judged on whether or not I JUSTIFIED the goddamn documentation, or if I included the stupid references that I never referred.
I believe I am need of reinvention, relocating exactly what was it that attracted me to a CRT at 4 AM, find the rush again. Or is it just that the price you pay for gaining a degree is losing what you love the most, sort of VIT's pound of flesh.
Anyway I have sufficiently deviated from the topic, which was if I remember correctly was stepping on the long grey line that is being an Indian Yuppie. Just a year back I wanted mankind to benefit from Babbage's invention, and I mean all mankind. I have seen the potential of knowledge offering such opportunities, which can transform the landscape of our species forever. We have a Utopia in our grasp and yet we are all blinded by greed, sloth, the enormous potential of the previous generation making you feel like a bag of crap.
I have been up awake taking a long hard look at what I want from life, is it just the desire to "settle down" roll over and die. Definitely not! This was not how I had embarked upon this journey. I console myself saying that I will act on my instincts in a couple of years and resume my quest.
"But Why Not Now?"
You see after you have been exposed to four years of relentless pounding on all sides asking you to blindly cram and regurgitate the very texts you held in the utmost regard. After you have seen courses such as Linux System Programming being corrupted so much, that there no longer remains neither Linux nor Programming, all that remains is cramming, you cant help but crave a break from this evil. I am studying a course called Decision Support Systems, which promised the earth, a true cutting edge eclectic mixture of all knowledge gained thus far, databases, AI, the ability to turn a corporation's business model on its head, and make it a damned profitable head dancer. Now while dreading the abuse my neurons will go through while studying this "mixture", I realize if I don't lock this experience within the darkest confines of my mind, never to see the light again, this might easily become the last nail in the splintered coffin of my enthusiasm forever.
First off this subject is not meant to be "taught", whatever that means, it is meant to be experienced. And the gestapo man who designed this course has not left one bit, not one bit, which requires my brain to function as something other than flash memory. We have to just mug the frigging headings and sub heading and hope to god it matches the key. The question might as well be "write Pg. 245 para 6 and 7". So you see I need to convince myself that a world exists beyond implementing the fibonacci series in the fourth year, and getting thrown outta the lab for laughing. I hope to god i find humanity once more.
"If not now, then when?"
As soon I piece my life together and regain a semblance of my past self. A couple of years of not submitting practical records ought to do it.
I had started writing this as a memoir of good times, but this stuff kinda came in torrents, it had to be said. Now coming to the good part.
From my point of view college was a big initiation ritual. I learned to appreciate the simple things, friends, good music, the joy of marveling at seemingly useless information and finding out it comes to your aid later, the rush of sticking it to the management and the guards and the lecturers, eating at a place you wouldn't dream of showing a picture off to your parents. Most of all the lifestyle, rushing from classes, events, labs, bickering over who gets to choose where to eat, heading back after an incredibly boring vacation, finding joy in debugging assembly code on the BIOS screen and yelling in joy when the output is got. Endless days spent cussing lecturers and scurrying for attendance.
Chastising a friend who just wants to bunk as much he can get away with and then some more (I don't blame you Ritu I too would wanna stay as far away as possible). Arguing about the merits ad demerits of an autocracy in our nation with a guy set to be the autocrat (Chait: you don't have my vote:) you would prolly reply who needs votes when you got nukes). Observing a person who cares about the bleeping machines as much as you do (Keep up the good work Mallik) and the guy who cannot hold a grudge to save his life and convinces you to enjoy the little things just a bit more (Sid: good man).
I feel refreshed after regurgitating VIT style, even my caffeine fueled mind cannot ignore the glimmer of hope in the future. Maybe I will contribute to the alleviation of our species. To infinity and beyond.
These words have been reverberating in my mind since 15 days. Because now we are all doing things like that.
I fondly remember the passion I once used to possess when in front of my desktop, alas no more, now I am painfully reminded of all the effort I put into sculpting statements into beauty(Code), and then be judged on whether or not I JUSTIFIED the goddamn documentation, or if I included the stupid references that I never referred.
I believe I am need of reinvention, relocating exactly what was it that attracted me to a CRT at 4 AM, find the rush again. Or is it just that the price you pay for gaining a degree is losing what you love the most, sort of VIT's pound of flesh.
Anyway I have sufficiently deviated from the topic, which was if I remember correctly was stepping on the long grey line that is being an Indian Yuppie. Just a year back I wanted mankind to benefit from Babbage's invention, and I mean all mankind. I have seen the potential of knowledge offering such opportunities, which can transform the landscape of our species forever. We have a Utopia in our grasp and yet we are all blinded by greed, sloth, the enormous potential of the previous generation making you feel like a bag of crap.
I have been up awake taking a long hard look at what I want from life, is it just the desire to "settle down" roll over and die. Definitely not! This was not how I had embarked upon this journey. I console myself saying that I will act on my instincts in a couple of years and resume my quest.
"But Why Not Now?"
You see after you have been exposed to four years of relentless pounding on all sides asking you to blindly cram and regurgitate the very texts you held in the utmost regard. After you have seen courses such as Linux System Programming being corrupted so much, that there no longer remains neither Linux nor Programming, all that remains is cramming, you cant help but crave a break from this evil. I am studying a course called Decision Support Systems, which promised the earth, a true cutting edge eclectic mixture of all knowledge gained thus far, databases, AI, the ability to turn a corporation's business model on its head, and make it a damned profitable head dancer. Now while dreading the abuse my neurons will go through while studying this "mixture", I realize if I don't lock this experience within the darkest confines of my mind, never to see the light again, this might easily become the last nail in the splintered coffin of my enthusiasm forever.
First off this subject is not meant to be "taught", whatever that means, it is meant to be experienced. And the gestapo man who designed this course has not left one bit, not one bit, which requires my brain to function as something other than flash memory. We have to just mug the frigging headings and sub heading and hope to god it matches the key. The question might as well be "write Pg. 245 para 6 and 7". So you see I need to convince myself that a world exists beyond implementing the fibonacci series in the fourth year, and getting thrown outta the lab for laughing. I hope to god i find humanity once more.
"If not now, then when?"
As soon I piece my life together and regain a semblance of my past self. A couple of years of not submitting practical records ought to do it.
I had started writing this as a memoir of good times, but this stuff kinda came in torrents, it had to be said. Now coming to the good part.
From my point of view college was a big initiation ritual. I learned to appreciate the simple things, friends, good music, the joy of marveling at seemingly useless information and finding out it comes to your aid later, the rush of sticking it to the management and the guards and the lecturers, eating at a place you wouldn't dream of showing a picture off to your parents. Most of all the lifestyle, rushing from classes, events, labs, bickering over who gets to choose where to eat, heading back after an incredibly boring vacation, finding joy in debugging assembly code on the BIOS screen and yelling in joy when the output is got. Endless days spent cussing lecturers and scurrying for attendance.
Chastising a friend who just wants to bunk as much he can get away with and then some more (I don't blame you Ritu I too would wanna stay as far away as possible). Arguing about the merits ad demerits of an autocracy in our nation with a guy set to be the autocrat (Chait: you don't have my vote:) you would prolly reply who needs votes when you got nukes). Observing a person who cares about the bleeping machines as much as you do (Keep up the good work Mallik) and the guy who cannot hold a grudge to save his life and convinces you to enjoy the little things just a bit more (Sid: good man).
I feel refreshed after regurgitating VIT style, even my caffeine fueled mind cannot ignore the glimmer of hope in the future. Maybe I will contribute to the alleviation of our species. To infinity and beyond.
Friday, July 17, 2009
PuppetMaster windows media center script
PuppetMaster is an amazing remote control software, u can control all aspects of your PC using your cellphone (all java/symbian models supported). This is a script for using your cellphone as a remote for windows media center. The controls are:
5 - Play/Pause
1,3 - Volume
4,6 - Forward/Reverse
2 - Select
0 - Back
* - Options
# - Mute
Just Install puppetMaster, and Import this file in the "menus" of "preferences".
http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=feac1b10a873075ac2b435915e8821d7e04e75f6e8ebb871
5 - Play/Pause
1,3 - Volume
4,6 - Forward/Reverse
2 - Select
0 - Back
* - Options
# - Mute
Just Install puppetMaster, and Import this file in the "menus" of "preferences".
http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=feac1b10a873075ac2b435915e8821d7e04e75f6e8ebb871
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
DMZ host : The secret to blazing torrents
The term DMZ comes from military origins, Demilitarized Zone, in netwoking terminology it essentially means an interface to the outside world which is free from all restrictions i.e all ports open, now torrents are community driven, so openess is very important. To enable DMZ on most modems follow the steps given below:
1. Go to network settigs-> local area connections and go to the properties of TCP/IP protocol and change your IP to any local address (192.168.1.XXX) and set your default gateway to your modems IP (in my case 192.168.1.1)
2. Go to your modem's configuration page (in my case http://192.168.1.1) you will be prompted for a username and password (usually "admin" "admin", if not contact service provider).
3. Here serarch for NAT settings, under which DMZ host will be there, set the DMZ host to your computers IP and reboot modem.
This method made my torrents continuos (reliable speeds) and increased speeds by about 40%.
Hope it works for you!!
1. Go to network settigs-> local area connections and go to the properties of TCP/IP protocol and change your IP to any local address (192.168.1.XXX) and set your default gateway to your modems IP (in my case 192.168.1.1)
2. Go to your modem's configuration page (in my case http://192.168.1.1) you will be prompted for a username and password (usually "admin" "admin", if not contact service provider).
3. Here serarch for NAT settings, under which DMZ host will be there, set the DMZ host to your computers IP and reboot modem.
This method made my torrents continuos (reliable speeds) and increased speeds by about 40%.
Hope it works for you!!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Torrents taking forever: Improving torrent speeds
I was downloading this file with an availability of 15.33, yet no dowload speed. I was cursing the peers (who by coincidence were all Indians i swear!).
1.I enabled port forwarding on the comp by following instructions for my modem on
portforward.com
If u are an amateur at networking technologies do NOT try this at home. I had to reset my modem multiple times, but got it to work eventually.
2. Then I used the Azureus client on Debian Linux and Voila i was getting speeds in excess of 40 kB/s. USE TORRENTS ON LINUX, simplest solution.
3. But then i got to thinking what about the poor souls on Windows a.k.a voleware (I know a few hardened ones, who are like, aanithang dats freey is bad fer ya son), the difference turned out to be the no of connections that can be made to peers is limited in voleware by default. Use this "patch" to correct the problem, and your torrents will zoom.
http://torrentfreak.com/static/EvID4226Patch223d-en.zip
1.I enabled port forwarding on the comp by following instructions for my modem on
portforward.com
If u are an amateur at networking technologies do NOT try this at home. I had to reset my modem multiple times, but got it to work eventually.
2. Then I used the Azureus client on Debian Linux and Voila i was getting speeds in excess of 40 kB/s. USE TORRENTS ON LINUX, simplest solution.
3. But then i got to thinking what about the poor souls on Windows a.k.a voleware (I know a few hardened ones, who are like, aanithang dats freey is bad fer ya son), the difference turned out to be the no of connections that can be made to peers is limited in voleware by default. Use this "patch" to correct the problem, and your torrents will zoom.
http://torrentfreak.com/static/EvID4226Patch223d-en.zip
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